Why Can’t My Kid Just Pause Their Game?

Why Can't My Kid Pause Their Online Game

You ask, beg, even sometimes threaten, but your kiddo still claims they can’t pause their game.  Why? What’s going on?  Tell me, have you ever had a conversation like this?

“Why can’t you just pause your game?”
“I told you,  I can’t pause it. It doesn’t work that way.”
“It’s a game. Just pause it and get down here.”
“Ugh… The game doesn’t pause.”
“Whatever then, I don’t care. It’s time for dinner. Just come down.”
“I can’t. Their jungler’s down and we’re about to towerdive on mid.  And it’s ranked.”
“You can jungle your mid or whatever later.  I already told you, it’s time for dinner. Get down here”
“But why!”
Now!”

I can’t imagine I’m the only parent that’s had this talk.  It’s infuriating and can be confusing.  Why can’t they pause their online game?  I mean… It’s a game.  Why can’t they just pause it? Even if it’s online, it’s not like the internet’s going to pick up and leave — So why does your kiddo insist they can’t just stop?

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Speedrunning Games – Definitions and Guides for Parents

“Did you see?”
“I’m gonna need more than that. Like, anything about anything.”
“Super Mario Brothers. There’s a new world record for beating it. It’s down to 4:56”
“You can beat Super Mario Brothers in less than five minutes?”
“I can’t… But people can. They found a flagpole glitch that let’em shave off time.”
“A flag what now?”
“A glitch. They shaved off like 3 tenths of a second.”
“Wait. Wait wait wait. 3 tenths of a second. That’s a thing. That’s a thing people do. Run games to shave off fractions of a second.”
“Um… Yea-ah. It’s speedrunning. Three tenths of a second is a big deal.”
“I’m sure it is.”
“Seriously. It’s HUGE”
“Mm-hmm”
“Ugh… You just. Don’t. Get it.”

Yup. Speedrunning. It’s a thing. And it’s a big deal for a subset of gamers. There’s even a biannual charity event for it: Games Done Quick. Where the dedicated get together and stream out playing games as fast as humanly possible.

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Roguelike – A Quick and Simple Guide for Parents

If you have an older kiddo – particularly one that loves more “indie” games or plays mostly on the computer, rather than on a gaming console, there’s a pretty good chance they’ve played – or at least talked about – Roguelike games.

They may not use that term — But there’s a pretty large volume of games that fall in this category. So, while you may not have heard them use this term Roguelike, they probably have talked about the games. Though, as I touched on above, the chances of this are greater if you’ve got a teenager rather than a youngling. Not that there’s anything particularly teenagery about them, they just tend to skew a little older cause… well… permadeath. We’ll get to that in a second.

With all that in mind, let’s jump to it.

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